How men can help normalize public bare-chestedness (part 2, turn off your flash.)

Georgetown, Washington D.C.  Spring 2015.  Calling 911 gives me a chance to interact peacefully with the police in front of a crowd.  So on one hand, thank you.  On the other hand, they have better things to do.
Georgetown, Washington D.C. Spring 2015. Calling 911 gives me a chance to interact peacefully with the police in front of a crowd. So on one hand, thank you. On the other hand, they have better things to do.

7. Sneaking a photo.  Again, I’m not offended.  But having your buddy pretend to pose for a photo while you take a picture of me over his shoulder is kind of the equivalent of shouting, “Titties!”  Just be mature about it.  If you’re curious about what I’m doing, say so.  If you want to share the image with friends, say so.  (With that said, here’s some tips for sneaking a photo.  Turn off your flash.  Turn off your shutter sound.  It makes for an awkward moment for you when your flash goes off unexpectedly under your coat.)

8. Approach me with questions.  This is the best, even if the question is less than supportive.  I love talking to people about gender equality and bare-chestedness.  Not everyone is nice, but most people are.  And if I’m only ever talking to people who agree with me, we will never get anywhere.

9. Give a compliment about my body or physical appearance.  This is a close call and depends on your motivation and delivery.  Some people want to show support, but don’t quite know what to say, so they say something like, “You have nice breasts” or even more comically, “Those are really nice.”  I always say thank you because as I’ve said, I don’t go on walks to lecture people, I go on walks to make seeing breasts normal.  Still, if you see a bare-chested woman on the beach, say, who appears to be minding her business, ear-buds, book, leave her be.  If you say anything, keep it polite and respectful.  “I support what you’re doing,” is better than, “You’re really hot.”  I mean, I could be wrong, women are all different and some will like directness, some won’t.  If you’re respectful and she’s not, that’s on her.  Don’t use one woman’s rudeness as an excuse to be rude to the next woman.  Break the chain and be polite.  If a bare-chested woman is walking around or talking, generally being social, that would say to me that she is open at least to a greeting or gesture of support or simple introduction.  Read her cues.  A greeting may be all she wants.  Or she might enjoy a whole conversation.  Remember, just because a woman has her breasts exposed does not mean she is inviting commentary about her breasts.  If the only thing you appreciate about her is her breasts, save it.  She has more going for her than that.   It’s tough, I know.  We are all learning together.  Be patient.

10. Call 911.  I  like it when people call 911 because it gives me a chance to interact with the police in front of a crowd of observers.  I have had many conversations with police in public (another post), almost always with people gathered around, and they have all ended with me continuing my walk bare-chested.  I can’t ask for better behavior modeling than that!  On the other hand, the police have more important things to do.  Let it go.

11. Insult me.  The vast majority of my reactions and interactions are positive or neutral.  Of course, they have not all been polite, and occasionally people will say rude things.  One man called me garbage and a harlot.  Another told me I was unreasonable and stupid.  I’m a redhead.  Bullies embolden me.  They also give me a chance to model for observers how to stand with dignity in the face of violence and hostility, and prove why it is important for me to be walking bare-chested in the first place.

12. Touch me.  I’ve never been touched inappropriately.  Never even close, actually, as I think back on it.  Hand shake, high five, arm around the shoulder with permission for a photo, all cool.  Grope a breast, you’re losing a ball.  Just saying.  That goes whether I’m wearing a shirt or not.

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12 thoughts on “How men can help normalize public bare-chestedness (part 2, turn off your flash.)

  1. The men could become eunuchs if they want to normalize breasts. I became one so I wouldn’t go bald. This May I was so skinny I could see my ribs (if I remember). Now my breasts are already an inch+ bigger. I was skinny so I’m not estrogen sensitive but if a man has man-boobs he might go full size. The most I’ll get is Miley Cirus size. The young children in India who are castrated sometimes get full size and look like women.
    I’m not a pervert who wanted big breasts, I just wanted to stop hair loss. Hair loss pills can be 60+ dollars a bottle and only slow it down. A guy who had mild Asperger’s before castration is never going to have kids anyway so why not increase my lifespan by 19-20 years?
    There’s a lot more side effects than I ever imagined. Tons and tons of effects, mostly female. I can’t even wear jeans and thick cotton shirts anymore because of the hot flashes if the temperature is too hot in the desert.
    I’m a lot happier now and think all men should do it after they have kids. When you’re a eunuch you don’t want the libido back. Why go back to being an aggressive pig? I’m higher than that now.

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    1. Hi Infowars Fan: Thank you for reading my blog and commenting. I don’t have any prior experience with the situation you describe here. Thank you for sharing it with me. There is such a vast array of human experience out there. I’m glad you are happier now, as you say, and I hope you continue to find happiness in the future. Be well, Gingerbread

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      1. I didn’t really read it. Also it’s too much trouble telling everyone about eunuchs so if u want to know more I told about a few side effects here: http://bigthink.com/experts-corner/the-surprising-truth-about-modern-eunuchs

        So what’s a eunuch doing looking at topfree women? Well I’m still a nudist so I go to like-minded sites looking for more evidence the law will be in my favor some day. I mostly just ignore the women in the photos because I’m not attracted to breasts and very little / no attraction to women. The difference in being a eunuch nudist is I can’t get any rush or thrill from being naked; I have no urge to be naked but I still like being naked, just not when it’s cold. A eunuch is not going to be naked when it’s cold or do anything else inconvenient like piercings (gay eunuchs might be different).
        A lot of the social conservatives are convinced nudists have ulterior motives like something sexual so now I’m one of the few people who can prove them wrong.

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        1. One of the most important messages I am expressing in this blog is that there are many valid reasons to expose one’s skin that are not sexually motivated. We have just been so conditioned to equate skin, in particular female skin, with sexuality that it is challenging for some people to decouple the two. I am in no way saying that male and female bodies should cease to be viewed as sexual. I am saying that we would all benefit from maturing our collective view on sexuality in such a way to allow for behaviors and relationships that can bring us happiness. Normalizing the sight of female bare-chestedness is a part of the conversation, not the entire conversation. And for the record, I don’t find it confusing at all that a eunuch would view my blog… because my blog is not about sexual titillation. It is about body pride, self-love, anti-bullying and acceptance of ourselves and others as we wish to authentically live our lives. I consider it a huge success that you, who report no sexual feelings toward women, find my blog applicable to your life and interests. Thank you again for reading my blog and for trusting me with your story.

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  2. As long time Nudists, my wife and I have belonged to several nudist clubs, gone on Nude cruises and walked nearly Nude around Key West during Fantasy Fest. I would love to see society evolve to the point of accepting total public nudity as being just another normal option. But we should not minimize the risks. As open as many European countries were years ago, you have these huge demographic shifts with migrants coming in and a huge spike in sexual assaults. Just because something is legal does not necessarily make it a good practice in certain environments. Go walk around bare-chested in one of the many Muslim No-Go zones in Germany or France or the U.K. and see how free you feel. It is a sad reality. Pick and choose your Bare Chested excursions with discernment of your surroundings. There is still the issue of safety to consider. Be safe and ….(pardon me) breast wishes!

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    1. Thanks for commenting. This whole topfreedom movement exists to address the fact that women have to monitor their safety 24/7. So I appreciate your concern but personal safety is the mission, not just a factor to consider while trying to achieve some other mission. Also, my mission is focused on the US. I certainly appreciate when non US citizens take part in the conversation, I think it’s vitally important, but the US holds itself up as this leader of freedom and equality. We should honor that in practice. It will be a lifetime of work to establish any form of broad equality, and will take millions of people collectively changing behavior. That’s overwhelming. So I go for walks. And these simple walks resonate across the world somehow. That alone tells me there is something to all of this. So I’m not worrying at all about changing or influencing other countries. Do I find the behavior of other cultures disturbing as far as equality and human rights goes? Absolutely, sometimes. But there are cultures that are well in front of us. We have some very disturbing behaviors and prejudices to overcome here in the US first. I realized a couple years ago that I was in a unique position to do this particular brand of activism. So I walk, I toss a Frisbee. I ride my bike. And somehow all these people find this worth discussing. We have enough work to do in the US to last generations I’m sure. Anyway, it will be very refreshing when I hear as many people telling boys and men to control their behavior as I do telling girls and women to protect themselves by limiting their legal behavior because men can’t or won’t control their illegal behavior.

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