Awkward boners and topfreedom

Blog DC 2
Washington Memorial, National Mall, Washington D.C. Summer 2015. Erections happen. It’s what we do with them that matters.


SC (@welcometorebirth), a blogging friend with whom I have corresponded several times over the months, wrote an article on topfreedom and asked for my input.  In his article he posed some courageous questions, courageous in that they lay out his real concerns on difficult topics in clear language.  I appreciated his candor and asked if I could use his questions to form my own response article.  He gave his consent.

He wrote:

Before I start, let me say that this article isn’t meant to bash #FreeTheNipple/Top Freedom for women. I support the bare-chested movement fully. I’m not here to stand on a soap box and proclaim that women’s nipples are somehow inherently sexual, because nothing could be further from the truth. I’m not even here to pretend I’ve always been in the know. I haven’t been.

I’m new to the bare-chested movement. A few years ago when I began to accept it, it was only under the pretense that women had the right to be sexual if they wanted without shame. Therefore, toplesss women were ok. It took a while for me to realize the whole spectrum of things, including the fact that bare-chest women aren’t necessarily sexual. 

One more thing before I list my struggles. For nearly five years I’ve had the desire to get into nudism/clothes free living. I feel it would be a boost to my self expression and self confidence, as well as help heal me a bit from my upbringing.

With that said, here are my “issues”. They’re not really issues. Moreso fears that I need time and help from those in the movement to overcome:

1) I am a person who finds art in nudity. I’m an artistic person myself (photographer and writer) and the human forms of all genders (male, female, trans, androgyne, non-binary) are beautiful. I’ve always been in awe of this, but sometimes I fear that my artistic appreciation will be seen as something nefarious instead. I may be wrong–bare-chested activists and allies may not even care–but I’m very concerned. I’m almost ALWAYS thinking about the feelings and concerns of others. I don’t want people to feel awkward about my actions. 

2)  I’m a hyper sexual person. Do I jerk off to breastfeeding? Absolutely no! But do I find breasts sexually attractive? Yes. They’re beautiful. They’re not the only body part I find attractive in a person. And it’s not just women’s breasts I find attractive. In context, I also, as I said earlier, love all body shapes sizes and colors. I feel sometimes though like I’m at a war internally because I want to be true to my ideals but I can’t deny my sexuality. I’m pansexual & polyamorous. I can’t deny that but I feel bad. 

3) My own desire for a nudist/nude friendly lifestyle has always had one inhibition: the fear of the unknown.  The last thing I want is to be at a nude friendly event, or a free the nipple walk and I get an awkward boner. 

Forgive me if this is quite frank, but it’s something I honestly wonder about. How would I react in that sort of environment?

But I really want to be supportive, so once again there’s an inward struggle.

4) I don’t want to be labeled. As a newcomer to this movement, I don’t want people to read this or look at me and think I’m some sort of freak or oddball. I want to lend my support. I believe in the cause of top-freedom.  That’s undeniable. I hope I don’t come off in the wrong way.  

So these are my “issues”. I hope someone in this space can give me some advice. Are my fears irrational? Is what I’m wondering about common? I have no issue with the movement itself… Moreso how I’d react to it. 


I appreciate what SC has done here.  American society is rightly concerned about offending each other when it comes to conversations about gender or race.  I really think if we stopped all hate language right now, it would still take us a decade to overcome the damage of two and a half centuries of inequality in the United States and really trust each other.  But SC has managed to ask his questions in a sincere and neutral tone.  He uses open, authentic language and is asking for help to navigate a new landscape, one in which women walk around bare-chested in public and men don’t trip over curbs.

This immediately brings to mind a man I met on the National Mall this summer.  I was sitting bare-chested on a bench, watching the world go by, and he passed by several times before finally asking if he could talk to me.  He was timid, and apologized as a greeting.  He said he supported what I was doing, but said he had some questions and asked if I would be offended if he posed them.  I shook his hand and asked why he was apologizing.  He said a woman once scolded him (shamed him) for holding a door for her on a date.  He said he had been raised to hold doors for women and he had meant no harm, in fact he thought he was doing the right thing, but she had labeled him as a sexist and then when he explained his motives, she criticized him for being out-of-touch and ignorant of the changing times.  This had happened 20 years earlier!  He was still feeling the sting.

I wanted to hug him, actually.  I found it absolutely profound that here I was, bare-chested in this crowded place, and here he was, carrying around this burden of guilt for his perceived misdeed so many years earlier, and something in my exposed appearance prompted him to trust his injury, and curiosity, to me.

In the same way, SC has exposed his vulnerabilities and is trusting me to respect them.  I appreciate the trust.

His first issue reassembles itself in my brain like this… he’s basically saying something like, but I find breasts attractive and don’t want to stop finding them attractive…but I believe in equality and want to support the cause of equality in general but also of topfreedom specifically, but I love breasts, I love looking at them, I love the way they move, how they lay and feel, and this presents a conflict.  How do I support a woman’s right to go bare-chested and desexualize the breast without looking like a phony or a creeper, because I don’t see me ever not feeling breasts are sexually stimulating.

My personal answer… I get a lot of people talking to me when I am bare-chested.  When someone values me as a human more than my breasts, I know it.  I can feel it.  I don’t care if people look at my breasts.  I don’t care if people find my breasts attractive.  I really don’t even care if people become aroused looking at my breasts.  I like looking at breasts too, male and female. (I also like hands and hair and eyes, though.)

I DO care if people reduce me to my breasts and hold me to a different standard of behavior than men because of someone else’s inability to appropriately navigate their feelings about my breasts.  I would also object if someone touched me without my consent (which has only ever happened to me when conventionally clothed, never when topfree.)

Caveat, of course.  Women are not a monolith.  We keep hearing that phrase, monolith, in the Black Lives Matter movement (which I strongly support.)  It means, not all black people think the same way.  Not all women think the same way.  This is the challenge, right?  Our human brains group things.  It feels overwhelming if we have to consider each individual as an individual, rather than simply as a an individual example of a larger group.

I think that’s a fundamental lesson of the topfreedom movement.  Bare-chestedness does not really tell you anything about the individual bare-chested woman.  Her bare-chestedness is not a communicator of anything except the size and shape of her breasts.  We don’t know anything else about her, just like we don’t know anything about a bare-chested man from his bared chest.

There is no real way to guess a bare-chested woman’s motivations without learning more about her.  People are beginning to understand there are many reasons to go bare-chested.  Sexual attention is one of them, certainly, but it should not be the one we assume a woman to have first, and it certainly should not be the one upon which we base her treatment under the law.  After all, we don’t automatically assume bare-chested men have sexual motives.

So my response to your first point, yes, human bodies are absolutely art.  Absolutely.  They are beautiful.  And isn’t it time we appreciate them as such?  All different shapes, sizes and hues.  And isn’t it time we learn to appreciate this artful gift each of us has been given?   You worry about offending topfreedom activists.  I appreciate that, actually.  You are considering other people’s feelings.  And that act alone will keep you out of trouble, probably.  If your motives are pure, the other activists will learn to trust you.  Give them time to assess your authenticity.  Be patient.  It will be rewarded.

So on to #2, regarding your inner conflict about aspiring to ideals of equality and respect, while also feeling the natural tug of sexual desire.  I do not see equality, respect and sexuality as mutually exclusive things.  In mature humans, they co-exist.  I feel strongly that the topfreedom movement and other body pride movements are maturing our sexual conversation.  Somewhere along the way we got this idea that sex = sin and I don’t buy that at all.  I think violence = sin, and when sex is violent, either physically or emotionally, it is wrong.  But the reason it is so wrong is because sex can be such a beautiful expression of humanity.  To treat it otherwise is a crime.

Underlying the topfreedom conversation is the idea that women get to choose when they are sexual and when they are not.  But I think often people focus on the “when they are not” part and forget that women enjoy sex, a lot.  It’s just that we don’t want to feel obligated to be someone’s sexual object, all the time, just because we are women.  We want to choose.  But that’s a shift in power, because up to now it’s the males of the species who have decided when females are sexual.  Males will naturally feel anxious about this new dynamic at first (oh God, no woman will ever choose me…)

The reality is that most women, free of shame, trauma, injury, pressure, etc, really love sex.  Some don’t, and that’s absolutely fine.  No one has to feel one way or the other about sex, but most women I know love sex.  And we love it even more when we feel free and empowered and in the presence of a lover who values the human inside the vessel.

So please don’t feel guilty about enjoying sex and having sexual thoughts.  Guilt is shame, and shame is violence.  The key is to view the object of our desire as a human first, with feelings, and to prioritize that person’s need to feel safe and secure over our own quest to satisfy our sexual desires.  There’s nothing wrong with having sexual thoughts about someone, in my opinion.  There is something wrong with being selfish in that desire.  Honor the feelings of the person inside the object and you should be fine.

Regarding # 3, I have been to plenty of nudie spots, but my blog is not about nudist etiquette.  I urge you to check out the wonderful blogs, Clothes Free Life , or Young Naturists of America to learn more about what to do with erections and the like in social nudism.

With that said, to the broader point of what to do with an awkward boner, literally and figuratively, this is where the idea of the normalization and desexualization of the female breast comes in, or the entire body for that matter.  It doesn’t mean we expect the breast to become completely non-sexual.  It means we are working to make the breast no more or less sexual than hands or lips or eyes.  Naturists say all the time, the sight of naked bodies loses its sexual effect pretty quickly, within minutes, and those powerful sexual feelings pass, the erections fall (alas), and everything normalizes.  That’s one of the things naturists love.  People are then free to just interact as people.

It’s the same with topfreedom.  At first, yes, to someone who has strong sexual feelings about breasts, the sight of bare breasts will of course bring sexual reactions.  They pass, quickly.  I see this every time I walk.  Especially if I walk through a place twice, like an out and back on a beach, the second time through, people barely notice me.  I’m already boring.  And that’s awesome.

Erections can be hard to interpret.  If a man stands there with his hands on his hips gawking at a woman on a beach, pointing his erection at her, it’s going to feel threatening to her.  I think if the naturist community can eliminate that single behavior from nude beaches, the female presence in naturist society would explode.  Well, that and voyeur photos.  But a man walking on the beach with an erection, at no one in particular, I personally don’t find that offensive or threatening.  I like erections.  I like the way they look.  I just don’t want one pointed at me like a gun.  I think that’s fair.

Basically, most people in the topfreedom movement are realistic about sexual reactions.  We just ask that everyone navigate those sexual feelings by prioritizing and respecting a woman’s right to feel free and safe and to be treated equally under the law.

So on to #4, you don’t want to be labeled.  No one wants to be labeled, and the fact that you have voiced this is a huge win.  This is the entire point of topfreedom.  Women don’t want to be labeled sluts, whores, bitches, possessions, or any of the other labels people apply to women to shame and control us.  The thing is, we can only control what we do, not what other people do.  If you treat a bare-chested woman with respect, if you sincerely support the causes of topfreedom and equality (gender and race) and she or someone else labels you a freak or an oddball for doing so, that’s a fault in that person, not in you.

Shame is a tool people use to control other people.  If you immunize yourself against shame, there’s not much people can do to weaken you.  That’s what makes the simple act of walking bare-chested so threatening to some people.  Women have been shamed for inciting sexual desire in men for so long that we have internalized this self hate.  How often do we hear the same thing from women describing what it feels like to go bare-chested?  … it was liberating…I felt free.

The weight of shame is what they feel free from.

I know females don’t hold the patent on feeling shame.  I know males have been force fed shame too.  Shame is a tool of the fearful, and fear exists in all people.  Power is what makes that fear dangerous to the disempowered.

Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we could use this point as our common ground?  So many of us have felt shame.  Imagine if we could just stop perpetuating it, in numbers so large that it actually changed the conversation, that people who use shameful words started standing out in sheer contrast to the respect passing among those around them?

It’s idealistic, I know, but I think it’s possible.  At any rate, we aren’t getting anywhere if we don’t each do our part.

So here’s a deal.

I don’t call you an oddball.  You don’t call me a whore.

If you do call me a whore, I still don’t call you an oddball.

Disrespect reflects more on the one doing the disrespecting than the one being disrespected.

If we each hold to this, shame dies in a generation.


46 thoughts on “Awkward boners and topfreedom

    1. Indeed. We could end the shaming cycle, but it requires a mass awareness of our own uses of shame against others. It’s so difficult to receive shame and resist the urge to return it or pass it on. It feels like it will just stop at our hearts and sit there hurting us, but maybe if we understand the value of neutralizing that shame, of interrupting its path when it arrives at us, we can continue to find motivation and strength to do so. Shame is violence, and violence begets violence. I was thinking yesterday how difficult this task really is, and how important. Take Trump supporters for example. Look at how much glee people take in making fun of Trump’s supporters for any number of reasons. But some of his supporters, many, are first time voters. And haven’t we been asking the nation to get more involved, to get out and vote? And so here come these first time voters who say okay, I’ll take part, I’ll try… um, I like Trump. And this huge voice just laughs in their faces and calls them stupid and uninformed. Shame. I am very disturbed by the words coming out of Trump’s mouth. Believe. But I’m also disturbed by the ease with which people across the political spectrum are shaming his supporters. It’s one thing to oppose a viewpoint. It’s another thing to demean the holder of that viewpoint. It’s hard to avoid. Shame is a powerful tool, but if we don’t want it used against us, we shouldn’t use it ourselves. Thank you as always for contributing your time and thoughts. Be well.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. I don’t think I write this often enough (as I could on everything you write), but this is another wonderfully written, and thought-provoking blog entry.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I’ve read a few of your posts now and I have to say, this is really great stuff! Not only do I find myself agreeing with everything you say – even to the point of periodically shouting, “Yes!” as I read – but it is also extraordinarily well written. Your thoughts are considered and beautifully put and, in a blogosphere laden with dross, what you are producing is a shining beacon.

    I commend your passion and your courage – so many of us (me included) are prepared to talk the talk when it comes to body positivity, equality and the normalisation of the human form – but few of us are prepared to walk the walk in quite the way you are doing.

    I hope you will continue to garner support – I will certainly make it my business to point others towards your campaign.

    Love and Respect.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for these kind words. I very much appreciate your offer to direct others to the blog. This is so important. And it is why I ask people who ask to take my photograph to pose in the photograph with me. When people see the photograph, and their friend, family member, colleague standing next to me, it serves as a powerful endorsement, and helps bridge the gap for the next observer. (Someone I know says this is okay.) Likewise, when people share the blog or videos with friends, it goes a lot farther than if I were just to post links all over the Internet. It doesn’t feel so forced if someone else introduces the idea first. I take heart in what we witnessed in New Hampshire this week, a lot of responsible, quiet, mature support for topfreedom, equality and body pride. The entire conversation is maturing across the country. It’s an exciting time. Thank you again. Be well.

      Liked by 4 people

    1. Me and Putin, riding horses around bare-chested, negotiating the world’s crises. It would probably work. Can’t you just picture a mixed-gender group of bare-chested world leaders solving problems over a game of Frisbee toss?

      Liked by 2 people

  3. As a person who has been a naturist most of his life, I can grandly applaud your words and aspirations. In the naturist worlds we have MANY situations where a hard one will arise and be accepted with honest hearts. We acknowledge the fact and enjoy it as an honest expression. Both women and men can understand the situation with no shame and a great deal of smiling understanding. No threat to anyone. Just an appreciative smile. Sometimes with a kiss.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. On the other hand, there are lots of naturist organizations which will kick you out if you don’t take at least minimum measures to hide arousal. Advice like cover with a towel or stay in the water abound. Knowing that it is an understood occurrence and knowing the rules for the organization you are visiting really helps.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. I am a long time nudist/naturist and truly cannot remember the last time having an unwanted boner while out with naked friends or strangers. I highly doubt that seeing female breast would even be noticed much by me. However, just a smile from my girlfriend (or late wife) can get me hard. 🙂

    Peace ~ Bear

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are correct, Bearnard. It is wise to be knowledgeable about peoples’ probable responses. You’ll notice that I used the plural, “naturist worlds,” because not all naturist groups are the same. The one I was in was completely accepting of a natural event. We did not shame a hard one nor a raised nipple. These things just happen and honesty is appreciated. So is appropriate actions … or nonactions. 🙂


  5. Reblogged this on SolSeed and commented:
    I follow this blog because, its author, Gingerbread seems to have exactly the right attitude toward other human beings. It is an underlying quality that is needed to understand Gaia’s people. It isn’t about exerting control. It is about giving control to the other and having faith that humanity is good to the core. The goal of Gaia’s people is large by any human standard. It is a goal that cannot be achieved through power. It can only be achieved through working in small humble ways and having faith that allies will emerge. So I am reblogging this post which speaks so much to that truth over to Gaia’s People.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. As a now long time clothes-freedom advocate. I can see a lot of what SC expresses in me when I first started to think about nudity and meeting others. I guess rather than a conflict inside me over sexual attraction versus equality, I was actually worried about a loss of sexual attraction; that somehow being desensitised to nudity (as it was explained I would be) would deminish my sexual attraction toward women, toward my wife. In fact it didn’t and that gladdened me more than anything else about biting the bullet of social naturism. Instead it merely allowed me to mentally separate them. Whereas society had brainwashed me into putting sex and nudity on the same switch…they are now on different switches and I now have control over both separately. That’s not to say that I didn’t experience a little sexual excitement on my first venture to a naturist social venue. There, I now feel comfortable admitting it. Surprisingly the excitement wasn’t caused by seeing a naked woman, it was triggered by the sheer excitement of walking around normally and clothes-free in the open countryside! A feeling of pure freedom send me into a heady sense of euphoria that caused a ‘physical reaction’. But even then the physical reaction was fleeting and then it was gone.

    On the final point SC makes I find myself nodding in complete sync with your reaction to the label and I totally agree that no-one wants a label. I’ve constantly argued in the direction of my national naturist association that in order to educate and promote body (as well as top) freedom, we should use nouns to describe it as little as possible and use advectives instead…clothes-free, bare, naked, nude…should be used over….naturist, nudist etc.. Asking someone if they want to be a ‘naturist’ is like offering someone a pin to wear. Generally the majority that support a way of life will just live that way…the vast majority would rather not wear it as a badge. A label leads inevitably to a stereotype, and no-one likes someone simply assuming they know you from that alone. That’s why younger people in general these days turn away from being a ‘naturist’, yet would happily go to a swim with friends that was simply advertised as cossie-free.

    I’m digressing….but I love reading this blog. The prose is wonderfully clear and resonant with me in my context as someone who simply likes being without clothes when the environment is right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Well said. Your insight about labeling is spot on. I hadn’t thought it through that far. That’s what I love about this blog. The intersection of knowledge and insight creates such beautiful progress and learning. I hadn’t really thought about the labels of naturist or nudist that much but you’re right. I find myself even resisting when people call me a nudist, and now I realize it’s more a resistance to the label, to the expectations attached to that label, to expectations in general. I love and enjoy being bare-chested and nude outdoors or in social settings when I can, but I want to do them on my own terms and for my own reasons. Identifying as a _____ist is ascribing to a set of behaviors and expectations chosen by other people. It’s like joining a church or a political party or a fraternal organization. Wow. There’s a lot to unpack here. What a powerful insight. Ha. That’s awesome. I’m going to have to sit with this for a bit. Thank you.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I too was nailed by a woman for opening a door for her – “I can open the door MYSELF”, and I think of it almost every time I hold the door open for someone. This is the thing about the power of words.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Words are incredibly powerful. If it matters, my personal feelings about doors are that the first person to the door holds it for the following people, regardless of gender. I do get bothered if someone takes something heavy out of my hands because they don’t think a woman can lift heavy things, or that’s it’s unladylike to be strong or whatever. That does make the redhead come out. But if the holding of a door is a gender neutral expression of politeness, no worries at all. And either way, scolding someone for holding a door is an ineffective way of having that conversation, and a bad place (in public, in a doorway) to have what is a very nuanced and delicate conversation (gender roles, expectations within a relationship, perceptions and insults, etc.). I would like to think we are gradually moving toward more productive and civil conversations between the genders. Thank you for your comment.


  8. Love reading your blog. It’s interesting to see how the topfree movement is coming along for women and I hope women can win their fight because it’s only fair that woman have the same topfree rights as men.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Beautifully written by both authors!

    The naturist “message” has always been that naturism is not about sex. But the nuances often get lost among the noise that passes for dialogue in cyberspace. And some people are so afraid of having their worldview changed that they deliberately distort what we’re really saying. We do not say that we no longer find others sexy, clothed or naked. We say that others are *no more* sexy in the nude than in garments. My common simile is that in our events, there is no more arousal or activity than at the average church fellowship dinner. But non-naturists seldom believe me.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Excellent piece! I stumbled upon your blog via Twitter and I’m glad I did. I’ll say this, I love women, I love breasts and if I get excited from the sight of either, then so be it. It just proves my humanity still functions as designed. It doesn’t mean I’m being obscene or dirty minded, I’m just being me!

    Again, great piece, I look forward to seeing/reading more!


    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. I truly believe we can navigate sexuality and sexual attraction without demeaning each other in the process. I’ve experienced this and see it in American and other cultures. We are getting there. Be well!


  11. Hi Chelsea. Thank you for sharing this! I, too, have struggled with this issue, as I really enjoy the sight of a woman’s breasts as something God created to be cherished. But I won’t pretend that it never turns me on, because it often does. But then again, I can get turned on by a woman who’s fully clothed, too! It’s this arousal that makes me feel more than a little awkward, because I think that if a woman sees that I’m aroused, she might think I’m some kind of pervert or something — when in reality, I’m just enjoying and appreciating the beauty of her body, much as I would the face of a clothed person.

    Anyway, Chelsea, THANK YOU for sharing these pages. I enjoy reading what you have to say, and yes, I’ll be honest, I’m really grateful for the sight of your beautiful breasts and nipples, too. Thank you so much for letting me enjoy them.


    1. Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. We can all learn to navigate these feelings to allow for men and women to feel respected and safe. Other cultures have been doing it for generations. We can do it too. Thank you again


  12. Maybe your breasts aren’t sexually arousing, but nothing could be further from the truth that women’s breasts aren’t generally sexually arousing. You’re really being willfully silly to pretend that’s true.


    1. Thank you for visiting and commenting. You have misstated my position a bit. I’ve never said some female breasts aren’t sexually arousing to some people and I’ve never said I seek to completely desexualize them. My point is that there are many parts of the body people find sexually arousing, lips, hair, legs, buttocks, in all genders, but we don’t restrict the freedoms of people unequally because of it. Beards, ask women how they feel about George Clooney’s beard,
      smile, laugh… or Tatum Channing’s chest. Or Idris Elba’s hands, voice, lips…Sorry, what was I saying? Arousal. Right. I saw a bare-chested man skateboarding on a beach boardwalk last year, incredible muscular body, golden tan, shaved chest, shaggy blonde hair, hot, tip to toe. No one told him to stop doing any of the arousing things he was doing. Some female breasts are arousing. Of course. Some male hands are arousing. Do you know what competent hands can do to a woman? We navigate this stuff all the time without creating legal inequalities. We can’t just decide somehow that women’s breasts are offensive because some people find some of them arousing. It’s a standard borne of years if entrenched prejudice. Should we make a scale of arousal? Anything over a certain degree of hotness to some critical mass of people must be covered lest people walk around distracted? Excuse me sir, your beard is far too masculine and is distracting the ladies at the next table. We are going to have to ask you to either shave or wear this ski mask. People should be allowed to see what female breasts really look like, small to large, young to old, so our expectations of the female body align with reality and not pornography. Treating male and female breasts differently under the law is a vestige of stereotype, not of actual legal danger. Other advanced cultures have proven this. Thank you for writing to me. I appreciate your time and consideration of topfreedom.


  13. You wrote in this article: “I think if the naturist community can eliminate that single behavior from nude beaches, the female presence in naturist society would explode. ”

    I’ve visited a number of naturist beaches (in UK and France) but I’ve never seen a man with an erection (unless you count a single case on a non-naturist beach where a woman was giving him a blow-job and everyone else passing simply ignored them), let alone deliberately pointing it at a woman. If thinking that happens keeps women away from such beaches, then the fact that it’s very rare needs more publicity.

    Incidentally, I’m working my through all your posts from the beginning, and this is where I’ve reached so far. I certainly intend to read the others. I think your writing, and your attitude to opponents is brilliant.


  14. Let me first say that not one person should even be nude out in public at all. Now a woman or a group of women should never even be seen in the nude at all. I would even say the men should never be seen in the nude too in the view of the public.
    Being nude in the privacy of your own home is up to you no matter what gender you are. If you think you can be nude in front of your own children is also up to you as parents of your own children.
    There is a place and time to be nude even nude in front of your own family. That is why I am saying if you like to do that then that is your choice and your right to choose.
    So keep your clothing on everyone.


    1. Hi: thank you for visiting my blog and making your comment. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I don’t argue that people should go barechested, only that they should be allowed to if they so choose. The challenge faced by people with the opinion you voice here is to convince men to 1) stop going bare-chested and 2) make it illegal for men to go bare-chested. Without these two things happening, the only choice for equality under the law is for women to also be granted the right to go bare-chested. Thank you again. Be well!


      1. First thing is your welcome. Now in truth I do not even care to see women not wearing a bra as put of their undergarments. Well I do not even care to see women wearing a sports bra only as part of thee outer wear. That should be made illegal.


  15. I know this is an old post, sorry to be late to the party; but I’m male and I enjoy going to nude and topless beaches and to clothing optional and nudist resorts and spas, mostly in Europe, and also once at a clothing optional Spa (Living Waters) in Desert Springs. Obviously it is polite not to stare at breasts and bodies anyway, although one can’t help but see (and admire) in one’s field of vision, but I have never had an accidental erection or even a “semi” as we say. In fact, one worries about the opposite effect when swimming in the cool water!! In the clothing optional spa I even had a couple of massage treatments, naked, though the lady masseuse was clothed (although she was naked and beautiful outside of the treatment room) I still didn’t get a boner as her hands did their work all over my body, including just millimetres from my penis. So I would say to your correspondent – don’t worry, go for it!


  16. Hi as this is my fourth comment I’ll offer an explanation. I found you from a reply on Felicity Jones’s blog in turn from the Naturist Living podcast. I’m stuck in a hotel in the Middle East for a Middle East weekend (Friday, Saturday) and although my work laptop picks up some of your posts as pornography, it’s not all and my phone can see them. It’s a western hotel so western women can wear a bikini by the pool (but not the locals …..) let’s not go there today!

    I really like what you are doing, you have a great active following and a really welcoming inclusive style I’ve had some relaxing time for a change so I’ve read quite a few of your posts and felt moved to comment, I promise I’m not going to turn into a nuisance. So firstly apologies for a couple of wrong words in the other comments, it’s not as easy on a phone.

    I found this post particularly moving and really nicely written, you said some really profound and honest things which is really admirable. It is a really balanced and fair view.

    In a comment on one of your other posts I think it was Mary said about men in a naturist setting she can tell easily spot the men she identifies as having to try a bit harder, I think I understood correctly that she was ok with them, because they did try harder. If I’m honest I think I fall into the needs to try harder category and I do try harder. It’s absolutely worth it though my wife and I have met some really great people, confident women and men comfortable with themselves. And the more bodies I see the more beautiful bodies (people) I see. I’ve even got used to the fact that men’s bodies are beautiful.


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